Looking to spice up your love life? Try this. Light a fire, get some tumblers, and then mix up 2 parts Hennessy, one part Lovage. Once you’re nice and cozy, tell her softly that you want her to spray silver nanoparticle foam in her hoo-hah.
Now, leaving aside the questionable wholesomeness of silver nanoparticles, does this seem like a product you’d trust? Here are the directions from the Chinese manufacturer, Blue Cross Bio-Medical:
1. Shake the pot up and down evenly 4-5 times before sexual intercourse.
2. Insert the small end of leading pole lightly into the soft cap of the pot.
3. Invert the pot and insert the big end of leading pole into the vaginal slowly. It is suitable when the leading pole is of 6-8cm in the vaginal (the length of this leading pole is 9cm ),press the shower nozzle with the forefinger until the foam is squirted and full of vagina (stop pressing it when the vagina mouth is exceeded), then take out the leading pole slowly.
4. Wash the leading pole for more using.
5. Use it in 1-5 minutes before sexual intercourse, and once again after sexual intercourse.
That’s probably the only product you’ll see this week that uses the phrase “full of vagina.” Of course, Apple could still surprise us. The question I have is, where does it go? I mean, obviously it goes down there. What I mean is, where does it go after that? It can’t just disappear. Nanoparticles in my socks I can deal with, but in my lady?