Wow. April Fools Is In full swing.
The Guardian goes all Twitter, ditching the printed version and the website. “Experts say any story can be told in 140 characters.”
Amazon launches a brand new cloud computing service called Floating Amazon Cloud Environment, or FACE. “The FACE uses durable, unmanned helium-filled blimps with a capacity of 65,536 small EC2 instances, or a proportionate number of larger instances. The top of each blimp is coated in polycrystalline solar cells which supply approximately 40% of the power needed by the servers and the on-board navigation, communication, and defense systems. “The government will have absolutely no chance of acting against them, because they will be too busy trying to decide which Federal Air Regulation (FAR) was violated, not to mention scheduling news conferences. “
But they’ve created the world’s first Cognitive Autoheuristic Distributed-Intelligence Entity (CADIE), which is a computer that’s come alive and is making changes at Google. “Earlier today, for instance, CADIE deduced from a quick scan of the visual segment of the social web a set of online design principles from which she derived this intriguing homepage.”
Another early project for Cadie: making a 3D version of Google Chrome, since “81% of households had red/blue 3D glasses lying around.”
There’s no gentle way of putting this, but YouTube just flails with upside down video viewing.
Gmail now has AutoPilot. “As more and more everyday communication takes place over email, lots of people have complained about how hard it is to read and respond to every message. This is because they actually read and respond to all their messages.” Cadie will respond for you.
Google Brain Search uses CADIE technology to index your brain.
Google Books is in on it too. See this monograph signed by the CADIE team for example.
Google Australia introduces the gBall, which will change Australian rules football as we know it.
There is also a featured YouTube video of a panda by the user ‘cadiesingularity’ with a profile stating “Cadie – the world’s first Cognitive Auto-Heuristic Distributed-Intelligence Entity”.
When browsing Street View in Google Maps, a panda is shown in the bottom right map instead of the yellow person usually shown.
CADIE even has its own blog on Blogger.
There is also a “CADIE’s recommended places for humans” link in Google Maps, which leads to the “Panda Mapplet” and includes several marked locations with “CADIE’s” commentary. Under Redmond WA a link is listed which will rick roll the viewer.
Meanwhile, Identi.ca has acquired Twitter. A Twitter executive was quoted afterwards saying: “I was worried we were going to have to make a business out of that whole Twitter thing! I’m really glad it’s someone else’s problem now.”
Google is apparently also building a new $100 laptop together with Alienware (Dell). It will have a built-in brain wave reading chip, with sensors that need to be applied onto the user’s skull.
Scientists at CERN have found the cell that basically triggered the Big Bang.
The Pirate Bay sells out to Warner Bros.
There’s a new social network for your nose, a friendspace for your fragrance, a place to share your opinions on perfumes and vote for your favorite smells. They call it smellr and it’s online now.
Opera has moved on from Mouse Gestures and comes out of the closet with Face Gestures.
The entire Internet is being rebooted. (SitePoint)
Add a bit of shine to your website with Laminatr.
This new Landmark jQuery plugin will alter the face of the internet.
Yahoo debuts Ideological Search.
Social Media Use Decreases Customer Satisfaction.
This brand new mobile phone works as either a coin-operated or credit/debit card mobile.
BBC’s Top Gear show comes to Hulu.
Woopra takes its Web Analytics suite up a notch and launches a webcam spy-feature for websites.
Woot is selling crap.
Reddit now looks competely like Digg (good one).
Wired: Twitter plans to make money. I’m gonna order that TW-900.
TweetDoubler gives you twice the bird.
Topify got sued by Fedex. “Fedex claims they have a registered patent for delivering faster and better email notifications and they claim we have infringed it.”
Fark now has its own social network. It looks vaguely familiar.
SocialBlade cracked Digg’s algorithm.
Epistolary Aardvark for Offline Access! “Until now, Aardvark could only be used via instant messenger or email to get answers to your questions within minutes. Through Aair Mail, you’ll be able to send questions via regular postal mail, just like you’d send a letter to a friend.”
Seacom has wired the entire African continent, which now has the fastest internet connection in the world.
LiveJournal has a Friends Page redesign project.
Microsoft added support for automatic mood detection in Windows Live Messenger. “We’re happy to announce that due to the great breakthroughs from Microsoft Research, we have an alpha version working that monitors your real-time physiological state and translates that into a mood (happy, sad, anxious, etc), such that you would never have to enter an emoticon again.”
Web celebrities (including Michael Arrington) are spotted dancing together, and they got the video to prove it.
The BDFL, having shepherded Python development for 20 years, officially announces his retirement, effective immediately. Following a unanimous vote, his replacement is named (Barry Warsaw).
Google is rumored to be acquiring Palm.
Ford, GM announce the Android Car. It looks cool.
Privacy campaigners throughout the UK have unanimously decided to support Phorm.
Daily Candy is doing their annual April Fools routine too.
How did we miss this one? CrunchGear was acquired by General Mills.
J.K. Rowling publishes Harry Potter eBooks on SmashWords.
A new mobile phone application has launched that promises to let you see where you are going while you are looking at your phone. “Called TXT’N’WALK, the application, which is available on the iPhone, Blackberry, S60 and Android operating systems will use the camera found on the back of your phone to show you the pavement in front of you while you access your email or the web on your phone.”
Qualcomm has outdone itself with the Wireless Convergence project. This one is really good.
Twitter limits tweets to one a day.
There’s also a secret government plan to tax Twitter. “Mumbrella understands that the government is planning to tax Twitter users by the number of messages they send, at a rate of 1c per tweet. This will then be multiplied by the number of followers they have.”
We think this is for April Fools, but we’re not sure: ThinkGeek is selling some cool stuff, including a ‘Unicorn Chaser’.
As of today all the newspapers, magazines and TV-channels using Twingly to link back to blogs also will show trackbacks to all emails containing links to their articles.
Funny too: Bugmenot.com now requires registration for their services. Considering the fact their tagline is “Bypass Compulsory Registration”, that’s a good one.
CafePress introduces the CafePress-o-Pedia.
Get vocal with the new Voice URL fring Add-on.
MooTools is now called jTools.
Well executed hoax: MOO.com announces the SUPER ECO FRIENDLY Business Card.
The purpose of the Conficker worm has been revealed: the network of compromised hosts will begin a massive denial-of-service attack on Web sites that do not pass validation as being fully standards-compliant.
Google News Drone: unmanned aircrafts will cover breaking news as it happens.
EA and Gameloft’s battle of the iPhone boobs.
Kanye West gives up music for full-time blogging. Oh noes.
MassiveClouding is a new startup making internet surfers’s computers’ free memory and idle processing power leasable.
FuelMyBlog will have to be sub-divided into categories separating EU Bloggers from the rest of the world and probably sub-sub-categories so that, for instance Wales, Scotland, N. Ireland, North and South England will have their own niches, due to language and cultural differences. “Apparently sub-divisions of other member states aren’t that important.”
The British government has announced plans to provide children and teenagers living in the United Kingdom with a free customised version of the Nintendo Wii together with two games and the Wii Fit accessories.
Amiando has launched a dedicated Bavaria version of its ticketing service, complete with background music from the Munich Oktoberfest.
This company‘s mission is to track down software pirates who share video games illegally. They’re looking for new bounty hunters to join their team. “If you can’t beat your enemies, beat your friends”
Just spotted on Digg: overlays featuring The Dude from the movie The Big Lebowski and many more.
Google South-Africa is opening a theme park dubbed GOOG TOWN.
Hehe. Packed3D is capable of taking an existing compiled flash game, and turn it into a fully functional 3D game. The video actually looks quite cool.
All French-made and French language films will shortly be removed from the LOVEFiLM service.
Boris from TheNextWeb has launched a TwitterFax service. “Fax any text (max 140 chars) to +31877848484 including Twitter username+password and it will post. Test it now!”
We think this is a joke: Shouttr, currently in an alpha-development stage, is a program that lets you post and read tweets others much like any other Twitter client. But it will also read aloud tweets for you as they arrive.
Newgrounds has been taken over by the Chinese government.
eBay put Skype on iPhone ‘to boost price of NSA backdoor’
Facebook announced yesterday an innovative partnership with telecom operators to reward heavy users with free bandwidth upgrades.
XIHA Life has acquired an island.
The BBC’s iPlayer is now available on a toaster.
From Google Maps Mania: “Top of the latest additions to the Queen’s website is this Corgi Tracker. The Queen owns five Corgis and now her loyal subjects can view their every movement thanks to this Google Map real-time tracker.”
SlideShare is faking the number of views for slideshows uploaded to the service.
The Google Sightseeing website morphed into the Ordnance Survey Sightseeing site.
Cadyou.com is proud to announce its first, free Sketchup plugin “Scanr”. In development for the 3 months, this plugin will allow you to use any optical mouse as a simple 3d scanner, enabling small objects to be scanned directly into the Sketchup software.
“When print publications started to lose circulation, we saw a golden opportunity to marry investors interested in saving newspapers with unused time on presses to bring you a new edition: TheDigitel.print.“
Google has acquired Mark8t.
NerdyShirts has an invisible T-shirt on sale. “It uses a fabric which bends light to render it virtually invisible. Get the warmth and comfort of a shirt without having to see it.”
ServiceSideKick has a new CEO.
WhiteLabelDating.com has debuted a new dog dating site today. The site already has 20,000 adult dogs registered and expects strong continued growth.
Washington Post: Conficker Worm Strike Reports Start Rolling In
MyWebDownload lets you download the WWW.
HowStuffWorks is running some funny articles. Example: Chew On This: Rechargeable Gum
istopover.com has a bailout special: stay in the White House for $49 a night.
Lululemon unveiled its brand new e-commerce website today, very slick!
PSS introduces lie-detecting call center software.
Microsoft launches a new game for the Xbox: Alpine Legend
Gizmodo is making its headlines read like spam messages today.
The Tech Herald: CERN admits black hole ripped in space by Large Hadron Collider
AdvertiseSpace: Google To Acquire Twitter for $635 million in Stock
“Aviary is proud to announce that it has launched its newest product, Crane, the web’s first paper-based image editor.”
TrackVia today announced the launch of their new Data Randomizer feature. “Designed for customers who are bored with their same-old, same-old data, the Data Randomizer injects spontaneity and hilarity into data management tasks by randomly changing unknown fields in unknown records.”
OtherInbox announces OtherVoicemail :)
Here is the JS-Word commenting widget mentioned above. One word only, please!
JS-KIT introduces JS-Word as a one-word commenting system. “We are, in essence, democratizing social media to the lowest common denominator. Groups of like-minded users can even collaborate to put a sentence together.” (we put one here but took it off because it consumed too much space)
BailoutLove.com is a government sponsored online dating service that helps scorned CEOs find true love.
The infamous Fail Whale has come to pass.
Organic is hiring a Senior Re-Tweeter.
Mr. Tweet helps you find your perfect date by analyzing your ‘tweetstream’.
If only it were that easy: “FireFold has developed a very complex and unique application which uses your existing hardware to create an HDMI Cable. Complete the app installation and just place your phone’s screen directly on top of the HDMI Port. Bingo!”
The domain name for Cardschat has been seized by Governor Beshear and the Kentucky State Department of Justice as part of an investigation into internet gambling, and is now the sole property of the State of Kentucky.
The Echo Nest is unveiling a new API that solves the problem of music discovery, once and for all. “The Goodness API applies the company’s advanced web crawling, language processing and audio analysis platform to help music fans everywhere separate music worth listening to from music that should be avoided.”
Wikipedia had true news stories on its site which it presented in dubious language.
Plurk relaunches as Bitter.
5min.com is moving to India, and they have an interesting approach of letting people know. Doesn’t that site look really familiar?
HubSpot has launched the Personality Grader.
StarTech mentions something about invisible cables.
Wired: Geek Dad becomes Jock Dad.
Funny: Box.net has launched a nano-blogging service for businesses.
Thanks to new cross-species breeding techniques, we know have the PuppyCat.
“Book lovers everywhere have resisted digital books because they still don’t compare to the experience of reading a good old fashioned paper book. But all of that is changing thanks to Smell of Books™, a revolutionary new aerosol e-book enhancer.”
The Official Accuweater Super Doppler 9000 Compu Plus Plus Forecastronic
Web2Ireland now has a €10m seed fund
FunnyOrDie morphed into RebaOrDie
Mentel has a funny job opening for a Junior General Manager.
Didn’t you know? Apple is now selling branded microwave ovens.
Toshiba launched the PetBook K9.
Tribune Company today announced detailed plans to introduce a high-power, low-cost communications device designed to make all media, including the Internet, obsolete by next year.
Imeem launches scratch and sniff feature. “You can now assign a long list of assorted smells to songs and playlists.”
Chegg debuts edible textbooks in 21 delicious flavors.
“For $199, you will be able to purchase a “spit test” kit directly from your DandyID dashboard. The kit contains a saliva swab, instructions, and discreet, postage-paid, padded mailer. You simply collect a sample of your DNA by swabbing the inside of your cheek, place the sample in the included protective plastic tube, and drop it in the mail to be sent back to Barakhamba. In 10 to 12 weeks DandyID will receive a digital representation of your DNA genotype, which will then be tied to your account.”
In a surprise move, Redbox has announced that they will start offering a movie streaming service later this month.
CitySpeek raised its first round of funding.
“Pk Prnt is the latest in mobile messaging technology from Peek.”
Zappos is now equipped with bunk-desks.
Verizon launches new advertising campaign, introduces new look
Coolspotters: Justin Timberlake and Members Only Liquid Leggings
Live Search got rebranded to “MSN Windows Live Search on email@example.com”
The Register: Google to fund ‘video Street View’ for Central London
Google acquired Helium.
Blizzard Entertainment posted some funny news items.
Pingdom launched SaveIE6.com.
“The Symfony team is pleased to announce its latest contribution to the open source community, the Symfony Service Exploder. When run, this script “explodes” your application by creating a unique service class for every line.”
ihateclowns.com has closed down the site due to pressure from clown lovers around the word. Details are here.
Barack Obama got kicked off SpeedDate.com
National Geographic announced the publication of its newest title, National Geographic: The Best of the Breasts. A snippet from the press release: “Finally, a compendium of all of our stellar breast
photography has been culled from our 126-year history. It’s a celebration of the female body in its most honest form.” …
Tool King is offering a $4010.90 Luxury Louis Vuitton Cordless Drill (covered in genuine Swarovski crystals and fine Italian calfskin leather), biodegradable framing nails, pre-filtered air compressor air refills, and the Millwallki M040109 @Home Endoscopic Kit.
Dirxion launched the “Upload & Go 3000,” which state-of-the art-technology to “convert your printed publication to digital format in the blink of an eye!”
More as they come in. Let us know what you’re finding out there in the comments.