Hold onto your hats, partner, because this is going to be a wild ride! Microsoft just announced a laptop cooling base. Why? Because laptops need to be cool, that’s why!

The cooling base will cost $29.95 and should be available in July – just in time for hot weather!

As an added bonus Microsoft recommends using the cooling base as a home air conditioning system once the global recession hits, which is why you should pre-order with a debit card now to ensure you can still afford it. Try sliding it under your pillow while you sleep or putting it under grandma while she swelters in the refugee relocation shelter.

As Intern Ivan wrote in our chat room:

they make stupid operating systems that overheat your laptop. so they sell a cooler. they could sell it with windows 7