Please observe this USB speaker from Brando. It’s called the “USB Buffalo Speaker” yet it looks like a bull yet it’s described as a “cute cow design” on the product page. It’s a blunder of epic proportions, to be sure, and could mean complete and “udder” devastation for Brando.

So where did the train go off the tracks?

First, let’s examine the overall concept. A $13 USB speaker – sure, good idea. The only thing “USB” about it, though, is that it’s powered by a USB cable. You have to use an ordinary 3.5mm audio cable as the “singal insert” though. Hooking it up to your computer via USB will only charge the internal lithium-ion battery. It’s not a plug and play USB sound device.

Second, the list of compatible devices includes “MD” – MiniDisc. MiniDisc?

Guy 1: “Hey, you still have a MiniDisc player?”

Guy 2: “Yes, and I just got this bull-shaped cute cow buffalo speaker to go with it.”

Third, and finally, the speaker is on the bottom of the device. Let the music breathe, Brando!

Those three little nubbins might just save the sound, though, as they appear to provide just enough ground clearance to prevent downward sound mufflement (mufflation?).

All in all, we’ll have to wait and see if this combination of awkward marketing and odd design choices have a massive effect on Brando’s bottom line. For now, it appears that the company will have to rely on its all-star lineup of other USB speakers to keep it afloat; whimsical creations such as the USB Beer Barrel Speaker, the USB Starfish Speaker, the USB Mini Lips Speaker, and the seemingly unstoppable USB Ladybug Speaker.

USB Buffalo Speaker [Brando]