Picture from Pics of Breakfast

Man alive. I just ate a Barnyard Buster at Tee Jaye’s Country Place in Columbus, Ohio and I’m not feeling so good. I’ve had these things before, being an Ohio native, but today might be my last one.

What is a Barnyard Buster? It’s hash browns, two biscuits, eggs (any style), and sausage gravy. I think there’s bacon in there somewhere as well, but I didn’t notice it. It kind of blended in with the potatoes.

Luckily, I had this abomination with my son and father, which made it much more palatable. There is something about having nasty, wet, fatty food with loved ones that makes it go down better, but now my tummy hurts.

The presentation itself is quite striking. The sausage gravy covers the entire mess, hiding the rest of the food a blanket of goo. The goo, slightly spicy and creamy, glues together the mass as it goes down, ensuring you don’t notice what part of the compilation you’re enjoying at the time. Is that hard part potato or bacon? A crusty part of the biscuit? A tooth?

In short, the Buster is perfect hangover food but not so great if you’re a healthy, functioning adult. Back in high school we used to see who could eat an entire portion and, while it was easy to do, the aftermath was quite striking.