Glastonbury, England, renowned for its hippy culture and often thought to be the last resting place of King Arthur and/or The Holy Grail, is reportedly seeing an increase in minor health problems, like headaches, dizziness, rashes and even pneumonia. The cause of these illnesses? Nasty, filthy wi-fi networking. No one ever got sick until the city rolled out a £34,000 wi-fi network.

“One theory they came out with is that wi-fi suppresses the production of melatonin, a hormone which helps to control sleep patterns, regulates the body’s metabolic rate and boosts the immune system.”

To fend off the wicked wi-fi, Glastonbury hippies have deployed orgone generators. Silly hippies: everyone knows that the problem with wi-fi is an excess of phlogiston!

Via The Inquirer.