The Spike TV Video Game Awards were handed out last night in a star-studded event at Sony Picture Studios somewhere in “California.” It was hosted by Jack Black and was mostly abysmal, judging by the 15 minutes or so I wasted watching it. Everything is fueled by Dew for some reason (whereas I’ve never had Mountain Dew in my life).

The big winner was Grand Theft Auto IV, which surprises no one.

The full list of winners

Game of the Year: Grand Theft Auto IV
Studio of the Year: Media Molecule
Best Shooter: Gears of War 2
Best RPG: Fallout 3
Best Individual Sports Game: Shaun White Snowboarding
Best Handheld Game: Professor Layton and the Curious Village
Best Graphics: Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots
Best Game Based on a Movie or TV Show: LEGO Indiana Jones: The Original Adventures
Best Music Game: Rock Band 2
Best Driving Game: Burnout Paradise
Best Action Game: Grand Theft Auto IV
Best Soundtrack: Rock Band 2
Best Xbox 360 Game: Gears of War 2
Best Wii Game: Boom Blox
Best PS3 Game: Little Big Planet
Best PC Game: Left 4 Dead
Best Original Score: Rock Band 2
Best Multiplayer Game: Left 4 Dead
Best Independent game:World of Goo
Best Fighting Game: Soul Calibur IV
Best Male Voice: Michael Hollick as Niko Bellic in Grand Theft Auto IV
Best Female Voice: Debi Mae West as Meryl Silverburgh in Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots
Big Name in the Game Male: Kiefer Sutherland in Call of Duty: World at War
Big Name in the Game Female: Jenny McCarthy in Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3

The list isn’t too bad, to be fair to Spike TV. The show itself, though, would benefit from toning down a little bit. It’s not a monster truck show or pro wrestling. The less explosions and LOUD MUSIC the better.