Please rate this Government before you delete it.
PullMyFinger, an iPhone app, has been recently accepted into the iPhone App Store. Writes the creator:
[Apple] told me that they are going to start approving a whole new “genre” of apps, and that Pull My Finger will be the first to be accepted in this genre. As of now Pull My Finger is available in the app store.
The very kind Apple Team Member told me that they didn’t want to reject it originally, but that they were sorting out how this “genre” of apps were going to be handled. She told me they’d be lifting the restriction on them, and more apps will follow that may have been previously not allowed.
Let’s pause for a moment to reflect on the founding document of our App Store Constitution and to remember those who gave at least fifteen minutes of their precious lives to make a program that lets you make farting noises.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Apps are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Revenue. That to secure these rights, Programming Teams are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the project designer, — That whenever any Form of App Store becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the Programmers to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new App Store, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that App Stores long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such App Store, and to provide new Guards for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these Programmers; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Apple is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these Developers. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.
He has forbidden his Programmers to pass Programs of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
He has refused to pass other Programs for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the App Store, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.
Let freedom ring, friends. Let it ring from every hillside, every dell, every corner of every city. Free at last, free at last, sweet Lord Almighty we are free at last.