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Best Buy Black Friday VIP winners announced: Lots of strange ‘I love shopping!’ essays

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Way beyond Bed and Bath: the Jerky Gun

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Best Buy had some sort of Black Friday VIP contest going on where the chain invited people to send in their best Black Friday essay. I know. The winners get a $1,000 Best Buy gift card, a trip to a store in a limo, the opportunity to buy up to four “doorbusters,” and so on.

I’ve picked out a few excerpts that may interest you.

From Eric in Boston:

Dark, raw, open air. I stand, blurry-eyed, trying vainly to focus on anything but the steam rising from the coffee mug inches under my nose. I breathe deeply, inhaling the bitter, robust coffee scent, and feel my body awakening. How did I get here? And where exactly is here? …

From Nick in Portland, OR:

Rain poured. God himself was weeding out the weak, testing devotion. Darkness engulfed everything, fighting the streetlights, the will of the determined. 3am and only the ads were keeping the hearts of the few from despair. Hours ago you could count the people in line on your hands, now the line was longer. Disappointment fell on the hearts of those just arriving, jealousy, possibly a little animosity towards us …

From Christina in Tampa, FL

Our family gathers around the table for a hot meal. I pass the mashed potatoes to my sister as my brother devours his food. Chills run down my spine as a cold breeze sweeps by me. Those surrounding us watch as we warm our body and soul through a loving family’s Thanksgiving dinner. Like a child waiting to open presents on Christmas morning, we anticipate the opening doors of our Black Friday destination …

And on and on these essays go.

If there’s one thing we’ve learned here, other than that some people love spending their money at the crack of dawn the day after Thanksgiving, it’s that Americans overuse adjectives.

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