I spent the past week traipsing around Europe and, luckily, I’d not brushed up against the poop shelf until last night. For those of you not in the know, the poop shelf toilet is a toilet that offers an unobstructed view of your waste, both solid and liquid, before it is whisked away into the darkness. As this guy states,, it’s found in many German-influenced countries including Poland and some former Soviet Central European destination spots. The poop shelf is a diabolical invention created, I believe, by the Stasi as a method to break down the mental resilience of the populace.
Imagine, if you will, my surprise when I sat down quite calmly and began the steady evacuation of a week’s worth of processed reindeer. An odd scent wafted up over me and I was sadded to find that I was mere inches away from a very unpleasant evening. The poop shelf had struck again. While I can laugh all I want, why in God’s holy name would these madmen invent the poop shelf? Was it to suss out contraband? To examine the waste in private before disposing of it? Was it a game, a la Three Kings Day, where the child who pulled a kewpie doll from a pile would win that evening’s orange? Answers, people, and fast.