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Gift Guide - Cell Phones

Clarity announces iPhone killer for seniors

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The ClarityLife C900 succeeds in so many places that the iPhone fails that it’s not even funny. First of all, it’s unlocked and, at $269.95, it’s not that much more expensive than an iPhone with a two-year contract. Once you get to a certain age, locking into contracts is silly. As my ninety-one-year-old grandmother says when asked about remarrying, “What’s the point?” The same can be said for cell phone contracts.

Second, the ClarityLife C900 has a ringer that’s “twice as loud as an ordinary cell phone,” which oughta scare the bejesus out of anybody under the age of 60 while providing optimal ring volume for our beloved seniors. Oh, and lest you think that the phone simply rings when a call’s coming in, the blaze-orange LCD also flashes like mad and the phone vibrates as though the old folks’ home sat atop the San Andreas fault.

Third, the phone has only four ginormous buttons and none of that fancy, convoluted, voodoo multi-touch stuff. Just some good, old fashioned button mashing.

And not to be outdone by Apple, there is, of course, “one more thing.”

On the back of the phone is a red, heart-shaped emergency button. Press it, and the C900 “calls and sends text messages to five pre-programmed numbers,” cycling through each contact until someone picks up. Boom. Mind blown? I know.

Now all Clarity needs to do is add a flashlight feature to the phone and – whoa, whoa, whoa, I spoke too soon. It’s got a built-in flashlight. I’ll be damned. Mind blown again.

ClarityLife C900 Amplified Mobile Phone [ClarityProducts.com]

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