Pinky-impaling Caps Lock key aims to curb shouting

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Q: Do Baby Boomers Need Their Own Yahoo Answers? A: No. (Someone Tell Boomerater).

CAPS_LOCK_TRAINER_KEY

You should all know by now the simple rules of internet etiquette – or “netiquette” as it’s so ROFL-ingly referred to in some circles. One of the first-learned and easiest-to-remember rules is that you mustn’t shout at people unless it’s absolutely warranted.

Example One:

“DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE I CAN BUY DOOM 7 IT CAME OUT I THINK ALREADY BUT I CAN’T FIND IT AT MY LOCAL EGGHEAD STORE IN FACT I CAN’T EVEN FIND MY LOCAL EGGHEAD STORE FOR SOME REASON IT’S NOT WHERE I THINK IT IS.”

The above mish-mash of shouting baked into one gigantic run-on sentence can be found all over the internet and is a great example of incorrect Caps Lock key usage.

Example Two:

“Hey Paul, just wanted to drop you a line to let you know that you left your pants at my house. Consider this a simple reminder to STOP SLEEPING WITH MY WIFE. Also, you and I have roughly the same size waist, so I’m going to go ahead and consider these MY pants from now on.”

The above example demonstrates acceptable usage of the Caps Lock key. The important piece of the conversation has been showcased. In this instance, the writer wants to emphasize his displeasure with Paul and, in particular, Paul’s action of sleeping with the writer’s wife. He then later quickly but definitively emphasizes a transfer of ownership as it pertains to Paul’s pants.

In order to combat incorrect Caps Lock usage, one may find solace in the CAPS LOCK TRAINER KEY. It’s an ordinary Caps Lock key that’s been retrofitted with two 14-gauge 10-millimeter spikes which screw into two small holes drilled into the key.

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