SETTING: A ravaged Earth-like planet populated by brawny space soldiers and vermin-like aliens.

Dramatis personæ:
Marcus Fenix
Dominic Santiago
The Chorus

The characters approach a large hole in the earth.

Marcus: Let’s hit that Locust hole with some grenades.
Dominic: Got it.
Chorus: NOOB GET OUT GET OUT
Dominic: What was that?
Marcus: Some kid in Scranton. He’s a douche.
Dominic: Ok. Let’s go through here. If we do certain things in this world we’ll get linked achievements and we can share the spoils of this war.
Chorus: YRMOMSUX!

Dominic: Can we shut that kid up?
Marcus: We can, but we’d have to cancel our XBox Live subscription and wouldn’t be able to play online.
Chorus: STFU
Dominic: So if we kill the right enemies at the right times we’ll both get achievements if we’re playing together?
Marcus: Looks that way.
Chorus: BE LESS GAY
Dominic: What if we kill this dude?
Marcus: His mom’s going to come up and tell him to do his homework in a few minutes. Just chill.