How the RIAA finds out you're sharing music, assuming you are dumb

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In a discussion with the Chronicle of Higher Education, an RIAA representative describes how they find and attack music sharers. Here’s how they do it:

1. They go to a computer.
2. They start LimeWire.
3. They look for a popular song (I hear the kids are into rap so let’s assume they look for “Gonna Gat-Cap Your Ass and Shake Your Milk” by Souljah Bizzoy so assume they are looking for that song.)
4. They find people sharing the music.
5. They right click to see who’s sharing the file.
6. They contact the person’s ISP i.e. your ISP.
7. You make boom-boom in your pants while you eat doughnuts, oblivious to the RIAA’s evil intent.
8. They sue you.
8. The RIAA rep goes back to their cave/hollow tree and moults, eating the transparent carapace and forming a new outer shell over the course of three days.
9. Repeat.

This process assumes a few important facts: A) You are still using LimeWire and B) You are so devastatingly retarded that you cannot keep your privates on the inside of your clothes. Therefore, if the RIAA catches you sharing music, you probably deserve the lawsuit.

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