John is the rubber cement that keeps CrunchGear going. He’s the cheese to our macaroni. He’s the glowstick to our sweaty, high-on-ecstasy raver. He’s the Dre to our Snoop. He’s the Hawaiian Punch in our lunchboxes. The Wayne to our Garth. The fire to our caveman — we think he’s magic.
Happy birthday, big guy. Let us know when you’re sober.