While to some the Zune is the greatest thing in the world, Crave writer Molly Wood finds it to be an odious turd of little redeeming value and generally one of the worst devices ever, on par with the thing at State Fair that pulls your nipples off for a quarter and those little boxing nun puppets. She finds that the headphone cables tangle so horribly that it takes her 30 minutes to untangle them — and her bus ride is only 30 minutes! — and the auto-sync feature is so dumb that it deletes everything automatically just to spite you. Want to know she’s a woman and want to hear her roar? Check this:

And you know what? I don’t like being told what to do. I don’t like sitting on a wiped Zune two hours before I’m supposed to leave from the airport. I don’t like software that ignores what I think is a pretty specific request for manual syncing, and I don’t like device behaviors that assume I am stealing music. What this all boils down to, I’m truly sorry to say, is that I don’t like my Zune. Hello, again, little iPod buddy.

Yeah, thought so, Zune. You suck apple-scented potpourri through a straw.