CrunchArcade: Hello Kitty Online expansion to launch next year, God save us all

Wednesday, April 2nd, 2008

Biggs is the editor of TechCrunch Gadgets. Biggs has written for the New York Times, InSync, USA Weekend, Popular Mechanics, Popular Science, Money and a number of other outlets on technology and wristwatches. He is the former editor-in-chief of Gizmodo.com and lives in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn. You can Tweet him here and G+ him here. Email him directly at john@techcrunch.com. → Learn More

An extension to the massively multiplayer online game based on the frightening and sad world of Hello Kitty is well on its way to ensnaring our youth in its disgusting pink and white tentacles. The expansion pack finds our heroes trapped on an island in the South Pacific after crashing in Kitty Air flight 337. If this sounds familiar, it’s because you hallucinated it in one of your horrible, horrible acid trips.

I hope that this is a late April Fool’s joke, but I doubt it. I encourage you to visit the Hello Kitty Online website to confirm this rumor is true, but be prepared to jab your ears out with a Batz Maru pencil.

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