If you’re anything like me, you woke up this morning, grabbed your first beer of the day out of your bedside mini-fridge, and got ready to face the demons. But what if that can didn’t contain beer but memory card slots! How funny — and infuriating — would that be? Who would you kill? No one, right? Because no one will talk to you. Their loss.

Well, now you can anger yourself, alone, with this Brando can-shaped memory card reader (Actual quote: “Canned design, like a can of food.”) It reads SD, SDHC, MMC, XD, Memory Stick Pro, CF, T-Flash/MicroSD and uses USB 2.0. What it doesn’t offer is a woman’s love and it doesn’t stop the noises from the street below, that damn plate at the intersection clanging all night and all morning and clanging and bothering you so you can’t even hear your ballgame and you’re trying to sleep and sleep won’t come and you try to go for a walk but your ankles really hurt so you just lie on the couch listening for someone at the door, anyone, and when the paperboy comes at 5am you might talk with him for a little while but the Pines is closed this late so it’s just you and the broken TV and the cat and the beer and maybe you’ll go to Florida but who has money in this economy? The adapter costs $20 and is available now.

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