Pigboat contest winner: Ryan

Monday, March 24th, 2008

Biggs is the editor of TechCrunch Gadgets. Biggs has written for the New York Times, InSync, USA Weekend, Popular Mechanics, Popular Science, Money and a number of other outlets on technology and wristwatches. He is the former editor-in-chief of Gizmodo.com and lives in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn. You can Tweet him here and G+ him here. Email him directly at john@techcrunch.com. → Learn More


Using my secret aggregation method for picking winners, I chose Ryan as the winner of the nasty Geeks.com PMP. His sad, sad prize is on its merry way.

I guess I’m wanting this piece of total shit crap stool poop (to paraphrase Biggs’ March 18th review) more its dramatic destruction and an excuse to borrow some robots than to actually own and use it.
I will have borrowed 4 of these
from Boston Dynamics and tie a steel cable to each one and the other end of the cable to the Poop-pod (as we will now call the PMP in question)
Each BigDog robot will then be set out in separate direction, quartering the little thing into… quarters.
Oh wait, I forgot the nukes. Then I’ll nuke it and blame it on SkyNet.
This is actually how the whole Skynet thing will get started. All because someone had to make an extremely cheap crappy version of an iTouch and someone had to send one to CG to be reviewed, and they hated it and then create a contest to give it away and I wanted to win it.
Stick that in your time machine.

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