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The Back Burner: Things we didn't post this week

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A big thank you to everybody for filling our tips at crunchgear dot com inbox with wonderful, unique, and newsworthy items. Here are five that we just couldn’t get to this week.

Req: honesty and transparency

I am an attorney at law and here to introduce and solicit your consent to introduce a profiting joint venture in which you neither will spend money nor time in, rather, your honesty and comitment.

If you think you can, i will be waiting for your reply so i can feed you with the details.
Yours sincerely,

ZAMERI & ASSOCIATES
LOT 3309-A, TINGKAT 1
JALAN SULTAN YAHYA PETRA
KUBANG KERIAN
16150 KOTA BHARU
ZAMERI BIN MAT NAWANG
Tel: +60142361494

CG RESPONDS:

Wait a second here. You’re offering me a profiting joint venture in which I neither will spend money, nor TIME yet I must spend honesty and commitment? I don’t know what commitment means to you, but to me it’s just another fancy word for “time” — the very thing you said I wouldn’t have to spend along with money.

I will offer honesty but not commitment. I’m looking to exert a whole lot of nothing for this profiting joint venture. Also, I’ve been trying to contact you but the mail man is getting pretty whipped up about your address, specifically what country you live in. Help?

Purchase roller feeder

Dear Sir/Madam,
               Am Mr.Calvin and I have a new company in abroad( Ghana )I want to know that if u carry any rollerfeeder for  one  of  my new  warehouses.Owing to this,i will like you to get back to me with the prices of rollerfeeder you currently have instock.I will then  choose the one i like and then we can proceed from there.Also i will  like to know if you do accept Visa or Master Card as the methods  of Payment .And I have Already talked to Freights Shipping Company for the pick up who can take the friegt Picked up.Hope  to hear from you soon.Have a nice day working and i wait to hear from you.
Best Regard
Calvin Cambrige

CG RESPONDS:

Am Mr. Doug and it’ll be a cold day in hell before we send you a roller feeder after you returned the last one. I thought store credit was a pretty nice gesture, considering you didn’t even have a receipt but we have laws here, Mr. Calvin.

And more importantly than laws, we have a roller feeder code of ethics — a code of ethics that you agreed to follow when you signed up to play the roller feeder game. Show me where in the roller feeder code of ethics that it says it’s okay to return a broken roller feeder, use store credit to buy a new one, and then skip town and change your phone number? You tell Freights Shipping Company that they can cram it, too.

What are your thoughts

Good day Maple_Leaf,

How can I express gratitude to you enough for continuously there for me. I could not meet the expenses my medicinal directions herein America but with the help of your company I straight away have no crisis financially. Its uncomplicated to get from you, your delivery is high-speed, trusty and . Same correct prescriptions as I was paying here at a great deal and less cost. You should be satisfied of your government in Canada for forcing minimal prices to be available to your regular consumers. Your customer service is incredible. Merlie has supported me many times and she is a very concerned and trained member of your staff.

Sincerely,

Ollie C.

Orange county, CA

CG RESPONDS

What in the hell did you order from us? It sounds wonderful! I don’t know who Merlie is but I’ll pass your kind words along to her. Averting a reader’s financial crisis is the name of the game here at CrunchGear.com, so we’re glad to have been able to help!

Also, Maple Leaf is a pretty bitchin’ nickname — thanks!

framer

Hoi,

Real men! Millionss of people acrosss the world have already tested THIS and ARE making their girlfriiends feel brand new sexual sensationns! YOU are the best in bed, aren’t you ?

Girls! Developp your sexual relaationship and get even MORE pleasurre! Make your boyfriennd a gift!

http://alfredashenkeldd.blogspot.com

CG RESPONDS:

Hoi, I’m a real man! I’m probably the best in bed — the best I know, at least. Why, who did you ask about me? Was it Mr. Calvin? That guy’s a rat bastard, if you’re interested to know the truth. Don’t try to sell him whatever it is you’re trying to sell me because he’ll use it, break it, return it, and split. Guy’s a crook, man.

Your New cock is Waiting for You

It is absolutely the most potent patch you can buy.

Don’t put off your happy life, order our VPXL today.

http://geocities.com/westoncarver640/

CG RESPONDS:

It’s ready already?!! Geez, that was fast! They said it wouldn’t be ready until — hey, wait a minute. This is just an ad, isn’t it? Not cool, man. Not cool at all. I’ve been waiting for this thing to show up for weeks now. I’m starting to think that sending in that foam cast of my hoo-hoo bump was all for show. I can’t tell if I’m embarrassed or mad. It’s likely both.

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