Lost satellite phones aren't real, all of the castaways are really dead, go read a book

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Hate to spoil it for the battered fans of Lost, but those cool GPS satellite phones that the whoevers from the whatever on the good ship Howsyerfather are using to track each other on the island are not real.

“No satellite phone handset that I am aware of has any form of touch screen available to the user,” said a spokesman for Globalstar Inc., a satellite phone network.

Does any of this particularly matter? No, and in fact it infuriates me that people are so obsessed with this cock-tease of a show — myself included, but not to this extent — that they would do the legwork to call someone and find out that a fake phone on a fake show is fake. Next: Battlestar Galactica fans call Webster’s re: this whole “frak” thing. Is it a real word?

Satellite Phones on TV’s ‘Lost’ Can’t Be Real [Textually]