Are you ready to show the FBI that tattoo you got in Key West when after you broke up with Celia and decided to go on a tear and get a tattoo disparaging both Celia and her mom? I sure don’t! It seems the FBI is planning a $1 billion, 10-year project to map identifying characteristics of millions of suspects, including palm prints, eye scans, and tattoo maps.

Most of this data is already being collected — I haven’t been picked up by the FBI in years, so I wouldn’t know — and this new system will simply fine-tune the access process. The project will create a database of this information, making it easier to search for individuals.

Kimberly Del Greco, the FBI’s Biometric Services section chief, said adding to the database is “important to protect the borders to keep the terrorists out, protect our citizens, our neighbors, our children so they can have good jobs, and have a safe country to live in.”

Because, as we all know, terrorists first show up on FBI computers and then do their nefarious deeds.

FBI wants palm prints, eye scans, tattoo mapping [CNN]