BIZARRO LAS VEGAS (AP) – With the eyes of the world turned to Sin City for this year’s Computer Electronical Show, tech giant Norcent has announced two of its highly anticipated products, the LT series of LCD televisions and a digital camera. Crowds of people are already lining up to view Norcent’s offerings, causing Nevada Governor Gibbon McShandy to declare a state emergency.

With National Guard troops massing on the scene, hungry HD fans are clamoring for Norcent’s 42-inch 1080p set for $1,299 and their 19- and 22-inch sets, $299.99 and $379.99 respectively. The 10-megapixel DCS-1050 should cost $179.99 and takes photomechanographs.

Norcent’s world-famous CEO Slithe Markinson is arriving by autogyro this afternoon to quell the crowds and to announce his plan to colonize Mars.