Unreasonable Stance: The iPhone is no better than a Motorola RAZR

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It’s been a few months since the iPhone first graced the world stage and I’ve owned mine since September, entering the fray only after the price drop made it worth picking up. So here we are, holidays upon us, and the iPhone — actually, probably the Touch — promising to be a big seller for the 16-to-95 set.

Well, friends, I’m going to make a case against the iPhone. Although I believe it’s a break-through product, it is not, in fact, all that and a bag of chips. Even if the chips were good.

What is the iPhone? It’s a PDA disguised as a media device disguised as the second coming of Jeebus. While I own one and use one, there are phones out there that do a better job at everything the iPhone does without complaint. Need email? Get a Blackberry. Need instant messaging? Get a Sidekick. Need an operating system so poorly designed that it causes physical illness? Get anything running Windows Mobile 6. Just rethink your iPhone purchase.

Apple is good at a few things. They make icons pop and move like Sugar Ray and can make a photo-realistic icon like nobody else. Sure, we’re big Apple lovers over here at CG, but let’s run down the RAZR spec list and the iPhone spec list and see what this $99 (free with rebate) phone has on the iPhone.

Spec RAZR iPhone Winner
Coolness Ummm… It can cut you. It’s a RAZR, duh! It’s a robot turd. RAZR
Price Free with purchase of a Big Mac $399 Duh
Porn Browsing Not so much Oh so much OK. iPhone wins
Camera Yeah, with video! For making home-made porn! Sure, if you like still pics. RAZR, again
Keyboard Real keys Some weird virtual keyboard RAZR
Applications Music player, all that jazz. Even a Calculator! Maybe there will be an SDK at MacWorld but there’s nothing yet. The iPhone does the same stuff as the RAZR Tie
Durability These things are like roaches Sit on it, you break it RAZR

So there you have it, friends. Do you like apples? How do you like them apples.

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