Slate to World: You're a Bunch of iPhone Dupes

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Apple will offer one-on-one iPhone briefings to qualified, preregistered journalists.

“No drop of milk oozes from the Apple teat without a crowd of journalists gathering to swallowing it up.”

Let’s read that again.

“No drop of milk oozes from the Apple teat without a crowd of journalists gathering to swallowing it up.”

One more time? Sure!

“No drop of milk oozes from the Apple teat without a crowd of journalists gathering to swallowing it up.”

Yes, friends, Jack Shafer at Slate thinks we suck Steve Jobs’ he-boobs. And I’m going to agree with him. I’ve been to events where all the journos talk about is “when are you getting the iPhone?” It’s a sickness, people, and it has to stop. Sure, I/we are not helping by posting about the iPhone constantly, but this is the shark attack coverage of technology.

See, every summer someone gets eaten by a shark in South Carolina or somewhere. The news, knowing that stuff is slow and no one is watching anyway, runs these stories constantly, remind people that even though you’re sipping a Corona on Myrtle Beach, the media cares about you and will scare the beejesus out of your kids as necessary.

But what are we supposed to do, Jack? Ignore the story? Write about the Helio Ocean a few more times? Fill the page with press releases (“Sparkfart, a Web 2.0-enabled shoehorn company has just announced the hiring of Joe Smacks as Chief Cook and Bottlewasher in their Boise Plant. Would you like to talk to the CEO?”)

See, everyone is frozen. No one is launching new phones until they see how the iPhone does — “Hellfire, they really did want a $500 phone. Get the Finns on the line. Let’s make one out of gold!” — and gadgets are at a standstill. We’re in the dead period between the spring shows — CTIA, 3GSM — and the late summer shows — the rotting carcass of E3 — and all we have to warm ourselves by is the dim light of rumor and innuendo.

Let’s do this: CrunchGear — and everyone else, BLam — will stop calling it the Jesus phone and will stop saying that it will be the best thing since capillary action. You will lay off us until the 29th and then when you start multitouching and surfing the REAL INTERWEBS you can come and apologize. Seriously, dude. In my few years of doing this, I’ve seen very few devices that promise so much and, knowing Apple’s track record, also promise to deliver.

Apple Suck-Up Watch [Slate]

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