I know that this sounds like a Jonathan Safran-Foer novel, but the S500 has “Hidden Illumination” and “Ever-changing Themes,” dig? It’s got “Vibrant Images” and “Mysterious Green” and “Spring Yellow” exteriors. Yes, friends, it seems that someone slipped some ketamine in S-E’s bento box.

The phone is actually quite cool. It has a 2.0-megapixel camera, standard music playback, and Bluetooth 2.0. No touchscreen, but it does support EDGE and rocks quad-band GSM for world-phone fun. Great design? Absolutely. Insane press release? Absolutely. Available in the Fall from a yet-unnamed carrier.

Press Release