Dear Mom and Dad,

I’m 12 years old now, and since it’s been two years since Blacky got hit by a car (god rest his soul in doggy heaven) I thought now might be a good time to start anew with pets. I’m not looking to start with anything expensive or messy. I don’t want another dog or even a cat. Not even a parrot.

I want ants. And I know what you’re thinking, we have ants, but I don’t mean the winged kind in the garage, I mean pets, things I can care for and name. Take this mini antquarium, for example. Not only does it have a whole colony of ants, but it’s portable, so I can put it in my pocket and take it to school. Can you imagine how popular I’d be when people find out I have ants in my pants!?

Look, I know we just had Christmas and my birthday isn’t for another 8 months, but at only $13 or so it costs less than three packs of Mommy’s cigarettes. At least promise to think about it?

Thanks! And I’m sorry about the carpet.

Love,

Daniel

Mini Antquarium [Modern Tots]