Breaking: Steve Ballmer Spotted Naked At Gym

So this summer my friend “James Cagney” was interning at Microsoft in Redmond, WA. He had lots of cool and amusing stories of the shit that went down there. But he’s back in Philadelphia now and just told me his pal spotted Ballmer naked at the gym. At first I was taken back by the horror, but managed to pull myself together and get more details. Aside from going on huge anti-Linux tirades lately, he’s been pumping iron and doing some serious cardio at the Pro Sports Club Gym in Bellevue, WA. While in the showers, our pal spotted a huge scar on Ballmer’s backside. What could it be from? Perhaps when he started throwing desks at walls when Google started buying Microsoft employees, Mr. Ballmer accidentally fell on a ballpoint pen or something. So if you’re looking to get your ass kicked, next time you see Ballmer, ask him to show you his scar.

Sports Pro Club Gym [Official Website]