. Warning: exposure to these titles may cause acne, furtive masturbation, and weight gain.
All of the games will be available online for Wii points, a currency that is pegged to the Yen and the Euro. Gamers will be able to download titles to their Wiis and play for hours, waiting patiently for prom to be over.
NES Games (500 Wii Points)
* Mario Bros.: Mario and Luigi punch turtles.
* The Legend of Zelda: The original Hyrulean adventure.
* Donkey Kong: The game that put Nintendo on the map.
* Donkey Kong Jr.: Not quite a classic, but its cameo in Yoshi’s Island DS is pretty boss.
* Ice Hockey: Fat guy, normal guy and skinny guy hit the ice.
* Pinball: Mario moonlights as a paddle in this one.
* Soccer: Another early NES sports title. About soccer!
* Tennis: Simple but effective volley action.
* Urban Champion: An early, and not particularly good, brawler.
* Wario’s Woods: A falling-block puzzle game starring Wario.
* Baseball: Yet another early NES sports game.
* Solomon’s Key: A surprisingly difficult puzzle-action game.
SNES Games (800 Wii Points)
* F-Zero: A futuristic racer that reinvented the genre.
* SimCity: Make your city awesome and you’ll get a statue of Mario!
N64 Games (1000 Wii Points)
* Super Mario 64: The template for 3D platform gaming.
Genesis Games (800 Wii Points)
* Sonic the Hedgehog: Spiky guy, attitude, goes fast. You know this one.
* Altered Beast: This bestial brawler will make you wise fwom your gwave!
* Golden Axe: One of the best multiplayer brawlers ever made.
* Columns: Before Bejeweled, there was Columns.
* Ecco the Dolphin: Save the ocean in this beautiful (but difficult) adventure.
* Gunstar Heroes: The action/shooter/platformer/brawler that made Treasure a hardcore fave.
* Space Harrier II: A fast-paced shooter featuring super-scaler action!
* Toe Jam & Earl: A funky and oddly mellow adventure.
* Ristar: Sega’s less popular 16-bit mascot.
* Dr. Robotnik’s Mean Bean Machine: (Psst, it’s actually Puyo Pop.)
TurboGrafx 16 Games (600 Wii Points)
* Bonk’s Adventure: Carnivorous caveman antics.
* Super Star Soldier: Superlative space shooting.
* Victory Run: Slick racing action.
* Bomberman ’93: Explosive multiplayer mayhem.
* Dungeon Explorer: Classic RPG combat.