Going to Iran for a romantic getaway in the future? Well, I hope you don’t need to work over the Internet. If you do, you’ll be bound to that 128k glory that the United States enjoyed, oh, five years ago? It seems that Western music and other forms of filth have become such a problem that President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has seen it fit to ban high-speed Internet throughout the country. This is probably the real reason that we’re going to invade them in the next couple of years. Not to spread democracy, but to give the Iranian people the Internet speeds that we know they want.